What Do You Want For Life ?

The last few weeks I have found myself in the place to ask myself Just what it is I want out of life....I know the eternal question and also the title of a great song from the seventy's at the same time its so true. I guess it does not help that for the last couple of weeks I am finding my energy level down and as a result of this I am finding the littlest of things that are getting under my skin more than they should or for that matter annoying me at all. Not a good head space to be in for anyone and even more frustrating for me. I will start with the fact that since my diagnosis of Cancer I have not had the energy that I once had and for me that is an adjustment all on its own. I was always the one who was able to be in many directions all the time. Since my 1st treatment I have had to adjust to having a brain that still goes in so many directions and a body that does not keep up. No complaints mind you, just an adjustment. If that was not enough I am finding that as much as there is so much to be done and as the ever ready ( OK so I like to think I am ever Ready ) advocate I see all of the things that need to be done....and here is where this gets to be fun or something....I am proud of all my efforts to help shape a better world and I am proud of all the wonderful people that are in the trenches with me, but what really bothers me is the lack of buy in or commitment. I am feeling more and more " Some one is taking care of it so I do not have to " and or " I really want to have all of this, but I am not going to support it " Mind you this is not me feeling this way...its that I am finding this to be the attitudes of the very segment of society I am advocating for. Oh yes there are exceptions to this and there are some wonderful people who are very appreciative of the work all of us advocates are doing, but honestly more and more I personally am questioning my efforts from the perspective of is this really worth my time ??? I hate to feel this way and I really like to think that its just fatigue setting in, but my hunch is that is not simply the answer. I guess what I need to do is learn not to care so much or be less passionate about it all. I feel like I am letting myself down when the support is just not there.

I speak of Equality and I often say " One Race, The Human Race" and yes I would love to see a world that is that way and yes I would like to see that in my life time....however here is the reality....We are not there yet. Can we continue to make strides to get there ?? Yes we can !!! Are we making progress ??? YES !!! Now why is it that its almost tooth and nail to get people engaged ??? Not all can or want to step up to the soap box like myself and others do and I am good with that...but when is attending an event and thus supporting a cause in the process a bad thing ?? Why is it that it seems to be the same wonderful folks at every event. Why is it that when asked to help with a community publication ( one which is free to get ) there is no support ??? Recently the center has come to see some rather large expenses come to need paid and the scramble to find ways to pay them. Oh we need a center is heard...oh yeah great job....the list goes on and yet attendance is not there. We throw events and only a handful come out for them. I guess for me its more frustrating because my heart is into all of this and not because I am seeking fame or glory...its because I know how important this work is and it impacts my life...as well as others....like hello ??? 

Now I know that some folks are busy and yes sometimes events are happening at times when you are at work, sleeping or otherwise bad times for you....but everything every time ??? I find that hard to imagine. I guess its easier to let others do all the effort and then complain there is nothing going on or that things are not happening the way you want them to. Well I challenge everyone who finds a passion in life....do your part !! Stand up be counted, get involved, contribute money , something. I will not let my discouragement stop me but this tireless advocate is tired and I speak for many others when I say this....We cannot do it all on our own and some day we are going to stop and what then ??? Change happens when many get on board and when many fight the battle. I am so frustrated that society has become the way it has....we want it faster, cheaper, better, etc....no regard of how that will happen. From the other side I can tell you its not going to happen all on its own !!! 

Guess I have made my rant and my case for this and I will end my blog here. If you are someone that gets involved in what ever the cause then I applaud you !!! Keep doing it and know as one who is doing the same I appreciate it !!! We are the future and we can shape it the way we want thru hard work and effort...from small ways to large it all adds to a better world !!!