Saturday 2/26/2011

Today I thought I would write about family. Since there are so many kinds of families I figured that I would honor them here.

Dictionary.com defines a family as :

fam·i·ly

   [fam-uh-lee, fam-lee] Show IP Anoun, plural -lies, adjective

–noun.

a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not: the traditional family.

a social unit consisting of one or more adults together with the children they care for: a single-parent family.

the children of one person or one couple collectively: Wewant a large family.

the spouse and children of one person: We're taking thefamily on vacation next week.

any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents,children, uncles, aunts, and cousins: to marry into a socially prominent family.

all those persons considered as descendants of a common progenitor.

Chiefly British . approved lineage, especially noble, titled,famous, or wealthy ancestry: young men of family.

a group of persons who form a household under one head,including parents, children, and servants.

the staff, or body of assistants, of an official: the office family.

a group of related things or people: the family of romantic poets; the halogen family of elements.

a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals and,frequently, live together: Many hippie communes of the sixties regarded themselves as families.

a group of products or product models made by the same manufacturer or producer.

Biology . the usual major subdivision of an order or suborderin the classification of plants, animals, fungi, etc., usually consisting of several genera.

Slang . a unit of the Mafia or Cosa Nostra operating in onearea under a local leader.

Linguistics . the largest category into which languages related by common origin can be classified with certainty:Indo-European, Sino-Tibetan, and Austronesian are the most widely spoken families of languages. Compare stock ( def. 12) , subfamily ( def. 2 ) .

OK So there are many definitions of family but for me in my world there are really 5:

Born into, By Marriage, Chosen, Birth, Adoptive

First off there is the family you were born with. They help shape you, raise you and are with you for life. For many life will throw ups and down but at the end of the day we love and/or respect our family. We may not always agree but with this group of family we seek the approval of and we come to understandings. We learn what subjects to avoid in conversation and for many we try to please them, We may be very close or not so much, but they are there for us ( most of the time ). For me this group of family and I have become closer over the years and I grateful for that. Yes we disagree but the is a respect for all.

Family by marriage are those that are brought into your born with family because of a marriage. More so than in-laws there are all different additions. We love them and respect them like the family we are born into and that respect remains same ( for most ). It does get confusing to explain them in the family structure beyond the typical “In Law’s “. Sometimes its those who come to the family by marriage that bring an alternative perspective and the ability to see things in a different light.

For me ( and many I know ) we have a chosen family. This is unique as there is not always a set structure. Rather we are all one big group that loves each other and watches out for each other and in some cases are the only family a member may have. The beauty of this family group is that often we have much in common or at very least they support us un-conditionally. They love us as we are and sometimes are the best source of advise. Because often there is no structure like many types of family someone younger or older will be the one you turn to for advise. I adore my rather large chosen family.

 

Birth Family. This applies if someone is born that is then adopted. My friend Doug has a birth family. More and more the birth family becomes back into the life of the adopted one and this is a chance to add to their family structure. For those lucky enough to have supportive birth parents it can be a beautiful thing. Doug is lucky that they are supportive so for him it adds to his life, including siblings. Regrettable not everyone is this lucky and some never seek out their birth family for fear of rejection.

Adoptive Family. For Doug this is the family that he was raised with, the ones he calls family. You adore them just as anyone would ( born with family ) they shape you and they guide you through life.

I chose this topic because I have been thinking about my family a lot as of late and what they mean to me. I am blessed to have a born with family, by marriage family and a large chosen family. They have been supportive in so many ways for me this last year and I so appreciate it. I also bring this up because my thoughts are on Aaron and his family….his step dad had a stroke Friday. I do not many details but my heart and prayers go out to them. May he recover soon and regain as much as possible. I also continue to send my thoughts and prayers to Betty Prows ( Grandma by marriage ) and her family as she wraps up her life. I know that this process is tough on the family and I am happy that hospice is there to help ease the transition.

Family. What ever type of have…cherish them while they are hear as one day they will no longer and being one that has lost family I can tell you its never easy and you never forget. I also feel that I can live with out regrets. They knew how much I loved them and it is the happy memories that I will have forever.

Have a Great Saturday and Remind your loved ones how much you love them…this is so important !!!